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Martinis101
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If you enjoy the moving picture shows even half as much as we do you'll appreciate this little selection of ours. From Bond to the Rat Pack, the martini is the drink of choice. Enjoy.

Featured Movie: Animal House

This is one of those movies that works for all the wrong reasons--disgusting, lowbrow, base humor that we are all far too sophisticated to find amusing. So, just don't tell anyone you still think it's a riot to watch John Belushi as the brutish Bluto slurp Jell-O or terrorize his less-aggressive fellow students. This crude parody of college life in the '60s spawned many imitations, but none could match the fresh-faced talent or bad taste of this huge box office success. (Remember all those toga parties in the '80s?) The first of the National Lampoon movies, this was originally released as National Lampoon's Animal House. Keep an eye out for a very young Kevin Bacon in his first credited screen appearance.

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A View To A KillA View To A Kill
What a way for Roger Moore to end his Bond days…having sex with Grace Jones. Sad, so sad.

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Diamonds are ForeverDiamonds are Forever
Connery’s comeback from retirement includes bikini clad assassins Bambi and Thumper, sausage king Jimmy Dean and a great theme from Shirley Bassey.

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Dr. NoDr. No
The movie that started it all: “Vodka martini, shaken not stirred”, Ursula Andress in a bikini and Sean Connery as James Bond wearing Capri pants. Yummy!

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For Your Eyes OnlyFor Your Eyes Only
Our personal favourite with Roger Moore. One of the more athletic Bond films (Scuba diving, skiing and rock climbing) and less hokey comedy, more ass kickin’. Fantastic!

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From Russia with LoveFrom Russia with Love
The critically acclaimed second installment. Watch for the unforgettable scene in which 007 unpacks his suitcase to the classic James Bond theme song! Rivetting!

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GoldeneyeGoldeneye
Pierce Brosnan’s first crack at the dramatically demanding Bond role. Greatest use of a tank in a car chase ever!

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GoldfingerGoldfinger
Two words: Pussy Galore…

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Licence to KillLicence to Kill
When did 007 become such a sour, boring shrew?! I guess it would make you angry too, if you were the producers’ second choice after Remington Steele.

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Live and Let DieLive and Let Die
Roger Moore’s first Bond film, with Jane Seymour playing a psychic who loses her powers when 007 deflowers her. Jane will have to earn her $2.99 a minute some other way (sorry, we couldn’t resist).

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Living Daylights, TheLiving Daylights, The
Timothy Dalton’s first of a very short stint as 007. Wonder if that huge chin dimple is what causes him to frown so much?

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Man with the Golden Gun, TheMan with the Golden Gun, The
This was Bond at his PC best. He hides one women in a closet as he gets it on with another, he beats up the midget from Fantasy Island, and his side kick, Sgt. J.W. Pepper, refers to the Thai people as ‘pointy heads’.

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MoonrakerMoonraker
Epic laser gun space battle (take that George Lucas!), Dr. Goodhead (the hot rocket scientist) and Jaws finds true love with a midget. Perfect!

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Never Say Never AgainNever Say Never Again
We can’t figure out why, at a creaky 52, Connery decided to remake a perfectly good Bond movie that he starred in (Thunderball). Wait…Kim Basinger…riiiiiight.

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On Her MajestyOn Her Majesty's Secret Service
Considered one of the best Bond films of all time. But new 007 George Lazenby got too greedy and was dumped for the next flick. George is now cleaning toilets at the Paul Hogan museum.

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Spy Who Loved Me, TheSpy Who Loved Me, The
Roger Moore’s finest Bond performance battling some psycho trying to take over the world with sharks with frickin’ laser beams on there heads. Fabulous!

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ThunderballThunderball
This one was so good that they had to redo it 18 years later as Never Say Never Again. If you have to decide between the two choose Thunderball, sure the special effects are a little lame, but Connery looks less prunish.

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Tomorrow Never Dies Tomorrow Never Dies
Super kung fu chick Michelle Yeoh (Crouching something, Hidden whatever) helps 007 Pierce kick Ted Turners ass. Delicious!

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World Is Not Enough, TheWorld Is Not Enough, The
Dark and serious is how some critics describe the latest Bond extravaganza. Laughable is how we describe the notion of Denise Richards as a nuclear physicist (in scientifically tailored short shorts, no less).

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You Only Live TwiceYou Only Live Twice
This one got trashed by the critics, but personally, we liked it. Any movie with Kah-Rah-TeY can’t be that bad.

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5454
Not nearly enough drunken, drugged up debauchery for our tastes. For fifteen bucks we want all the sordid details, after all we watch VH1!

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A Fish Called WandaA Fish Called Wanda
Funny, very funny. (Sorry, we’re tired this week and that’s the best review we could come up with)

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Animal HouseAnimal House
An accurate portrayal of our spirally lives before we found the sophistication of martinis…although you can never go wrong with a toga party.

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ArthurArthur
Exactly how we’d live if we were billionaires.

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BarflyBarfly
Surprisingly entertaining for a Mickey Rourke movie, and makes us glad to not be alcoholic writers.

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Blues BrothersBlues Brothers
Although the Blues aren’t generally associated with the sipping of martinis, this movie does boast the most destructive car chase in the history of musicals.

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Boogie NightsBoogie Nights
A gritty, informative view of the adult film world during the swinging ‘70’s. We bought it strictly for its artistic merit, we swear!

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BowfingerBowfinger
Add an ‘i’ to the end of Steve Martin and what do you get? Bingo! And a funny movie too.

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Breakfast at TiffanyBreakfast at Tiffany's
Sean Axmaker (who?) called it “a refined slice of high society bohemian chic” (what?). Don’t know what that means, but Audrey Hepburn is a Goddess.

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Bright Lights <br> Big CityBright Lights
Big City

Michael J. Fox in the role he was born to play: a drunk, doped up sex fiend trying to get over his break up with wife Phoebe Cates. Yikes!

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BugsyBugsy
The true story of the man who created the land of excess (Las Vegas, you idiot!).

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CaddyshackCaddyshack
A revealing documentary that brings to light the degrading caste system of the country clubs of the world. Speaking of caste systems, how did Bill Murray not win an Oscar for his portrayal of an obsessive caretaker?

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Cannonball RunCannonball Run
Sammy Davis Jr. and Dean Martin (as horny priests), Roger Moore, Burt Reynolds, Farrah Fawcett and Jackie Chan! You can’t lose…wait a second…Dom Deluise, damn!

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Cannonball Run IICannonball Run II
Sadly, Dean Martins final screen appearance, but you can find solace with Daisy Duke in a spandex jumpsuit.

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CasablancaCasablanca
Nothing to be said here, if you haven’t seen this one, you’re not missing much (that should be read with as much sarcasm as you can muster).

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Casino RoyaleCasino Royale
James Bond spoof with an all-star cast (Peter Sellers, Ursula Andress and Woody Allen) and music by Burt Bacharach!

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Cruel IntentionsCruel Intentions
Hot, spoiled teenagers having fun by using devious sexual schemes to ruin the lives of those less fortunate…that works for us!

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Dirty Rotten ScoundrelsDirty Rotten Scoundrels
Michael Caine and Steve Martin play rival conmen bilking women on the Riviera. One is the martini sipping smooth talker and one has an eye patch and a wine cork on his fork. Priceless!

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Fear and Loathing in Las VegasFear and Loathing in Las Vegas
A drug fueled road trip to Las Vegas spawns hallucinations of Salvador Dali-esque proportions. Nothing new here.

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Four RoomsFour Rooms
Skip the first 3 Rooms and get right to the ending…a finale that almost makes up for losing 96 minutes of your life.

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Gentlemen Prefer BlondesGentlemen Prefer Blondes
We won this excellent Marilyn Monroe vehicle (based on the Madonna video ‘Material Girl’) in a lawnbowling tournament. Talk about excitement! We were down by 5 after 2 ends and after stealing singles in the next 2, we faded 2 bowls next to the Jack on our final throws to secure the upset…uh, sorry, we digress.

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Get ShortyGet Shorty
The first of Elmore Leonard's novels to hit the big screen (well, the first one we heard about, anyway). You can just tell Elmore was popping olives (or something) when he came up with this clever plot.

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GilliganGilligan's Island
It’s the one where Gilligan sticks it to the man, ie moneybags Mr. Howell, at a game of golf. A classic!

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Midnight in the Garden of Good and EvilMidnight in the Garden of Good and Evil
Didn’t see it, but it has something to do with a murder, decadence and Savannah. Our 3 favourite things…in that order.

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OceanOcean's 11(1960)
The first Rat Pack movie. A dynasty was born…

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Pulp FictionPulp Fiction
Relaunched Vinnie Barbarino’s career (where’s Horshack?), had a 50’s diner dance off and Christopher Walken with a watch up his ass. We’re still undecided on this one.

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Raiders of the Lost ArkRaiders of the Lost Ark
Not sure what this has to do with Martinis, but a pretty cool movie none the less. (We think somebody at Martinis Online has a thing for Harrison Ford…)

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Reservoir DogsReservoir Dogs
Quentin Tarantino’s debut. Now, if only our neighbor would buy a new CD we wouldn’t be filled with a murderous rage whenever we hear the soundtrack. We’ll stick something in the middle of you…

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Sabrina (1954)Sabrina (1954)
Humphrey Bogart and Audrey Hepburn... it made us laugh, it made us cry, it made us wonder what the short form for Humphrey is.

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Sabrina (1995)Sabrina (1995)
If you haven’t seen the original, then see this one first. If you have seen the original then get really drunk first and try and forget how fabulous Audrey was.

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Sex and the City - The Complete Second SeasonSex and the City - The Complete Second Season
More drinking, more sex and more influence over the rest of pop-culture. Although a smart and savvy look at single life in New York City, it often leaves you wondering why your life is so frickin’ boring.

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Shallow GraveShallow Grave
Hip, yuppie English trio find their new roommate dead and a suitcase full of cash… what follows is exactly what we’ll do when that rich new MartinisOnline intern kicks the bucket.

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Some Like It Hot Some Like It Hot
Marilyn Monroe, Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis in drag during the Prohibition…the shenanigans that ensue are priceless.

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SwingersSwingers
‘You’re so money and you don’t even know it’. What you talking about, Willis? We are money and we do know it! (What are we talking about?)

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The Godfather DVD Collection (2001)The Godfather DVD Collection (2001)
The first two Godfather movies are among a small handful of films that can truly be called cinematic classics. The third one makes an excellent coaster.

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Trainspotting Trainspotting
Makes you appreciate how tame hangovers are compared to heroin withdrawls, doesn’t it?

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Viva Las Vegas Viva Las Vegas
The King in the land of excess. Fantastic!

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Wall Street Wall Street
Exemplifies the ‘me’ decade in all it’s glorious excess. Ahhh, to be young, greedy and amoral again.

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West Side Story (1961)West Side Story (1961)
Based on a smash Broadway play updating Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to the 1950s era of juvenile delinquency.

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What Lies BeneathWhat Lies Beneath

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Where Eagles DareWhere Eagles Dare
Nothing to do with Martinis, but Richard Burton and Clint Eastwood make for a very cool WWII movie. And we’re sure Dickie tipped a few.

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Wild ThingsWild Things
Nothing to do with Martinis either, but ménage-a-trois!

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Working GirlWorking Girl
Melanie Griffith got nominated for an Oscar for playing a Wall Street wannabe with an IQ about 80 points higher than her own. No small feat given her diminutive intellect.

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